Update - Caleb

Where to begin? Caleb was officially 2 1/2 a few weeks ago, and he is every bit of a two-year-old. Have you ever seen the Sour Patch Kids commercials? They're sweet one minute and sour the next. Yeah, that's a pretty good description of Caleb these days. He is such a sweetheart most of the time - hugging and kissing his sister, listening so well etc. And then as he's beginning to assert his independence, we get some of the sour. 30 minute meltdowns happen several times a week, sometimes almost daily. All it takes is for him to not get what he wanted, and he's screaming and crying and pitching the biggest toddler fit you can imagine. Those are particularly exhausting for me, and I find this stage to be very trying - very rewarding, but also very trying. The Lord is definitely using it to refine me. If I am not on my knees in the morning asking the Lord for strength and patience, well, then I am not as patient with Caleb as I want and need to be. His favorite phrase right now is "I thought I was gonna do it". It's pretty amusing most of the time, minus the times that a meltdown follows.

Caleb is also potty training - well - sort of. He likes to pee on the potty and can do it all by himself, from undressing to getting on potty, down and washing his hands. His favorite part is the 2 M&Ms that follow. But he absolutely refuses to do any other "business" on the potty. The picture above is from a night when Marc was out of town and I took the kids to a frozen yogurt place. Caleb was so incredibly excited about it and talked about it for days. I decided to use this opportunity and told him that when he goes poo on the potty for the first time we will go as a family to celebrate at the frozen yogurt place. Even that incentive hasn't worked yet. But that is Caleb's personality. There is no forcing or talking him in to doing something. He will do it when he decides that he wants to. I'm just hoping it's not too long from now :)

Caleb has also started randomly talking about things that he heard at church or from me and Marc. A few weeks ago he was playing and just started saying "The Bible says is absolutely true". I asked him where he heard that, and he said his class at church. I love that they are teaching the children at such a young age that there is absolute truth, and it is found in God's Word. Caleb has also started wanting to pray. The other day he bowed his head before eating his snack and started thanking God for his snack, Karis' sippy cup, his racecar, and everything else within sight. He also prayed that God would help him to not be scared of dinosaurs and lions and that He would give him peace and protect him. Yes, he used those words. This is what Marc and I pray aloud for him every night -by his request. We definitely learned the hard way about what Caleb watches. We let him watch The Land Before Time (such a cute movie but the t-rex is scary!) and ever since he has had trouble falling asleep on his own at night. I'm sure it won't be the last mistake we make as parents, but sometimes I could kick myself for that one!

Aunt Janice, Caleb loves his new shirt with pockets in the front - he really digs pockets of any kind.
He is all about football and baseball these days. He even got to go to the World Series last night with Gramps and Grammy (pictures to come)...lucky kid!

I love this sweet boy of mine so much and especially love watching him play and carrying on lots conversations together about all sorts of things.

It's getting better :)

Thank you so much to all my amazing friends that have called, posted very helpful comments and advice, and texted. You each have helped to encourage me to stick with this and that it will get better. :) And it is slowly getting better. Night time has been really good. For the past several nights Karis has cried no more than thirty minutes and then slept either all night or only woke up once to nurse and went right back to sleep. I couldn't ask for better! The night before last she only cried for 15 minutes and then literally slept for 12 hours and 15 minutes straight! The new routine at night has given me such a new found freedom. After I put Karis to bed, I went and had dinner with one of my best friends 2 nights ago, and we had such a good time. I wasn't able to do that before since Karis wasn't taking a bottle and was so hard to put to sleep. Being able to do things like that now -getting time for myself- has really helped to lift my spirits and make me feel a little more like myself again.

Nap time is very slowly getting better. We've had black out shades and a noise machine since we started this process. She is very drowsy and relaxed during the soothing routine before I lay her down. I just think I had unrealistic expectations of how it would go. Most people only talk about night time and the sleep training process, so I never really thought nap time would be so hard. But several of you said it took your little one almost 2 weeks to get the nap time routine down. So I definitely need to be patient with it and not give up on the process. Karis took a good nap yesterday morning, but not in the afternoon. That's the hardest part, b/c then she's a mess for the rest of the day. But today she is taking a really good afternoon nap so far. Small victories :)

Sleep Training Woes

Ok all my sleep training friends - I need help!
Karis is getting better at night. The past couple of nights she has only cried for about 30 minutes, and then slept all night except to nurse once around 2am, and then promptly went back to sleep. I try my hardest to not let her fall asleep nursing, but here's the problem: she is so ridiculously exhausted because nap time is getting worse and worse.
That's what I need help with.

So this book says that at nap time to let them cry for no more than an hour and then go get them and keep them awake until the next nap or bed time, so that it doesn't throw off the next nap or bedtime. I've been doing that, but it just ends up that Karis doesn't nap ALL day long and is SO fussy all day. (literally, 2 days ago she didn't not nap the entire day)
It's miserable for everyone. Today I was so done w/it, so I decided to let her cry longer than an hour to see what happened. At her morning nap she cried for 1 hr 15 minutes and then fell asleep and slept for 1 hr 15 minutes. So that make me feel a little better about the process. But then for her afternoon nap I let her cry for 1 hour 45 minutes and she still didn't fall asleep (and I know she was very tired) So then I spent the rest of the afternoon holding her b/c she just cried every time I set her down. All the while, Caleb has had fever all day and needed me, too. So today I'm just mad at the whole process. Why is nap time getting worse? Shouldn't it be better by now? And we can't go anywhere b/c then she'd just sleep in the car and end up going to bed too late etc.
She did great tonight. She only cried for 15 minutes (and did not fall asleep nursing amazingly) and then fell asleep for the night. So I'm very thankful for that. But day time is really bad and I don't know why or what to do about it. We've been doing this for 6 days now. I just thought that by now she'd have the hang of it. (which she does at night, and I am SO very grateful for it!)
Maybe I had unrealistic expectations about how this would go. Did anyone else have nap time struggles even though night time was good? Any advice or tips, please?!

Sleep Training Night 3

Well, night 3 wasn't too bad. Karis did the same thing as the past 2 nights. She fell asleep nursing, slept for 30 minutes, then woke up and cried for an hour before falling asleep. She woke up once about 3am to nurse but immediately went back to sleep and slept the rest of the night. So that's not too bad.
But today during nap time was not good. The plan in this book is to keep her on a regular schedule with her biological rhythm. So most babies her age go to bed about 7, wake up about 7, take a nap at 9 am, and then another nap at 1pm. If you lay her down at her 9am nap and she doesn't go to sleep, you should only let her cry for an hour and then get her up and keep her awake until the next nap.
Well, that's exactly what happened this morning. Karis screamed the entire hour she was supposed to be napping, so then we had to keep her awake until her 1pm nap - which is not easy and definitely makes for a very fussy baby. Well, then at her 1pm nap she slept for all of 15 minutes, woke up and cried for an hour, and then Marc got her up (I was having some much needed girls' time with my community group!). And then we had to keep her awake until bedtime - again not easy. So I just put her down at 6pm. Again she was so worn out that she fell asleep nursing and so didn't cry when I laid her down. But now it's 6:25pm and she just woke up and started crying. I guess I'm just hoping that she cries for less than an hour tonight.

I've been having such a hard time with the sleep training today. It just doesn't feel like I'm doing something good for her. It feels like I'm hurting her. When she's crying, I want to go hold her and comfort her. But I have to remind myself over and over that this is for her good and for mine. It also seems like naps are getting worse, but Marc's theory is that maybe today was the "final death throws" as she realized what we're doing and that she's letting us know she doesn't like it. As Marc says, she's strong willed like her momma! I sure am hoping it gets better...and soon.

On a much more positive note, the weather was absolutely beautiful today, so we all headed to the park to play. I am so excited to be able to do this more now that it's cooling off outside!

Sleep Training Night 2

Ok, night 2 was a little harder. But at least I had been warned! Karis fell asleep nursing again, so I just laid her down at 7pm and she slept for about 30 minutes, then woke up and cried for an hour. Then she slept until 2:30, I fed her (which I have decided to do just once a night until she's 9months old), and she went right back to sleep in her crib - didn't even cry when I laid her down. Then she woke up and cried off and on for the rest of the night until she was up about 7:30am. Marc and I are on the air mattress downstairs and I could still hear her screaming even though she was upstairs w/the door shut and a towel at the bottom of the door. But from what I have heard, night 3 is much better, so we will see.

I have been praying for her each time I lay her down for a nap or at night, just that she will learn quickly and get good sleep etc. I think she is a quick learner! I put her down for her nap at 9am today and she didn't protest at all. She just curled up, sucked on her pacifier, didn't cry at all, and was asleep w/in 2 minutes! I couldn't believe it! Now I just hope she does the same for her afternoon nap, bedtime, and eventually every time I lay her down.

Before all this I was so scared that she would feel abandoned or lose trust in my willingness to meet her needs. But now through this process I realize that her biggest need was sleep and to learn to go to sleep by herself. I think it was my biggest need, too! I was about to lose my mind. Thank you to all my sweet friends who kept very gently suggesting I do this - love you all so much!

Sleep Training Night 1

After having some really rough nights over the last couple of weeks, I finally was at a breaking point and knew I had to make some big changes with Karis and her sleeping habits. I have been so sleep deprived, which makes the RA flare up and also just makes me irritable and impatient with my kids, which is not what I want.
Several friends had recommended the book Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child to me, (one when Caleb was a baby) and I finally went and got it last week. It's amazing how much I have learned through this book about what healthy sleep habits look like and what the effects are of even a mild chronic sleep deprivation. I'm starting to realize that this describes Caleb. We let him stay up too late at night and plan to make changes with him, too, very soon. I was just so scared to let him cry for hours on end as a baby. I had read books that talked about how it would break the baby's trust in you and hurt the attachment, and so I always held him until he was fully asleep and then laid him down and always picked up him up in the middle of the night and got him back to sleep. So he didn't learn to put himself to sleep on his own.

It is only now with Karis when I don't have the option of doing this b/c I have 2 young children that it's becoming a necessity. And now that I have read this book and realize what a gift it is to teach your baby to fall asleep on their own, I wish I had done it with Caleb when he was a baby. But I can't change that now. I can just choose to teach it to Karis as a baby and Caleb as a toddler.
So, anyway, we started with the sleep training last night. I honestly thought it was going to be terrible - hours of crying, only for her to wake a few hours later and more hours of crying. But this was not the case at all.
I put Karis down (awake but drowsy) at 7pm, and she only cried for one hour and then literally slept the entire night, until 6:45 this morning. I still can't believe it! Her crib is in our room so Marc and I slept on the air mattress downstairs, thinking there would be lots of crying. And even though there wasn't, I still woke up every hour or two just thinking I heard her crying. But from what I understand this gets better, as I have to relearn how to sleep through the night as well!
Naptime this morning was a little harder. She cried for an hour and a half, and just fell asleep as I was typing this. I know it will continue to get easier, although I've been warned she might cry more the second night, but the third should be less. Anyhow, I'm so thankful that we are finally doing this and that Karis will learn how to fall asleep on her own. Now for the sleep training with Caleb...

I turned 30 on Friday! I have such an awesome husband. He got a kit with 3 little flower pots that you paint and then put his and the kids' names, one on each, painted a flower with their thumbprints as the center, and wrote "Your Love Makes Us Grow" across the top of the pots. It was so thoughtful and meaningful. He also gave me a 4 hour spa package to the Grand Spa in Addison!!! I can't wait! Then on Friday night we had the kids, so we went somewhere low-key for dinner, but I still got my favorite meal - Cracker Barrel french toast...yumm! And then on Saturday night the kids stayed at Gramps and Grammy's house for a couple of hours so we could go out. Marc took me to a nice restaurant for some really good steak and then we went to Truluck's for dessert. He took me there for my 25th b-day when we were dating, and I had to get the same dessert. It's this amazing desserts shaped like a gift-bag, with a chocolate outside and filled with pound cake, berries, and whipped cream. Delicious.
More than anything we just had such a great time going out just the 2 of us. It's only the 3rd time since Karis was born, so it was much needed.

Also, very exciting news - Karis took a bottle while we were on our date! Several friends suggested the brown, latex nipple, and it seems to work. Now I'm just hoping she'll take it again. Karis had her 6 month appt last week and weighed in at 16lbs (50th percentile) and was 26 3/8 inches long (75th percentile). I guess that's it for the updates. I think she'll have a tooth and start crawling very soon!

Karis is almost 6 1/2 mos old already! She has grown and changed so much over the past month. I don't know how much she weighs, but we'll find out at her check-up in a few days. I'm guessing she's about 15.5 lbs or so. She's sitting up really well and even started scooting on the floor today. Not exactly a crawl yet, but she's getting really close.

Look at those long, beautiful eyelashes - she and Caleb both get those from their daddy.
She also gets those big round eyes from her daddy - love those big blue eyes!

She is so funny when she gets excited - looks like she's about to take off

Karis has been sleeping better over the last 2 weeks, thank goodness. We've had a few rough nights, like the one a few nights ago when I was up with her for 2.5 hours in the middle on the night, and then once I finally got her down, Caleb woke up at 5:30am - so I only got 3 hours of sleep that night! That was brutal. But last night she slept for 9 hours straight - that was glorious. Now that she can roll over, she obviously prefers to sleep on her tummy and has been sleeping longer this way.
The Bumbo is such a great invention...
This is from the 4th of July, but it's one of the few good pics I have of me and her
Karis thinks her brother hung the moon. She laughs harder and more often for him than anyone else.
Such a good pic of Karis and her Mimi
She's getting so long!
Sleeping in the Beco at a baseball game

She is constantly chewing on her fingers or anything else she can get her hands on. We should have a tooth pretty soon.
I love this picture and her beautiful blue eyes!!!